McNote
by whitetyger123
Summary: Our geniuses get jobs at McDonalds! McDonalds is never the same! Please R
1. McL

**McL**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, or McDonalds. But I do work at McDonalds, so most of the things that happen to our geniuses have actually happened to me. Fortunately, I handled them better than they will.**

For the purposes of this story, Watari felt that McDonalds needed some geniuses working there. And, he just happened to know a few!

Because Watari has very good persuasive skills, he got L, Matt, Mello, Near, and Raito to go apply. McDonalds was never the same.

L went for his interview. 'And, it says here that your name is Ryuuzaki?'

'You mispronounced it.' L stated, not explaining how to properly pronounce it.

'Um... ok... so, why do you wish to work at McDonalds?'

'Watari told me to.'

'Ok, and what do you think... why are you sitting like that?' The interviewer finally burst out.

'I could explain it to you, but I doubt that you would be able to comprehend.'

'Normally, you are nice to your interviewer, Ryuuzaki.'

'Normally, I'm not applying for work at McDonalds. I see no reason to be nice to you, because there is a 78.3 percent chance that you will hire me anyway.'

One of the employees came up to the lady. 'I quit!'

'82 percent.'

'Fine! You're hired!'

.oOo.

L came in to work on his first day wearing his uniform that he bleached white, no hat or visor, and no socks.

'Ryuuzaki! What are you wearing?'

L blinked. 'My uniform.' What a stupid question.

.oOo.

L was standing at the till, and a really obese couple was ordering. 'And, I will have the Double BigMac meal large sized with a Diet Coke.'

Ryuuzaki looked quizzically at the man. 'A diet coke? That will do nothing to make your body any more appealing. When added with a Double BigMac meal large sized, it really doesn't help. Not even mentioning the fact that it is actually worse for you than real coke.'

The man seemed shocked. 'Did you say I'm fat?'

'Yes, you are. Now, what do you want for dessert?'

'We do not want dessert. I can't believe you said I'm fat.'

'I cannot believe that you are shocked I called you fat. You look to be 500 pounds. And how could you not have dessert? It is the most important part of the meal.'

'I am 486 pounds, thank you _very_ much! And, we _don't want dessert!_'

'You don't have to thank me for stating the obvious. Are you sure you do not wish to have dessert?'

His manager came up behind him, luckily missing the previous conversation. 'Don't forget to ask if it is for here or to go.'

'But I am 82 percent sure that they will eat here.'

'You still have to ask them.'

'But I do not wish to.'

'Just ask them.'

'Fine!' He turned to the fat people. 'Do you wish to eat here or take out?' Then he remembered something vital from his training. Always smile. So, he smiled the creepiest smile the fat couple had ever seen in their lives.

'Umm... we'll eat here.'

They were so scared by his smile they forgot to complain about the fat thing.

.oOo.

It was rather busy around 5, but L was coping well. Until he saw someone writing in a black book.

'Kira!!' L then proceeded to vault over the counter and tackle the boy.

FIRED!


	2. McNear

**McNear**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.**

When Near walked in for his interview, the lady looked at him. 'I'm sorry, but we don't hire people under 14.'

'I'm 18 years old.'

'Oh.'

.oOo.

Near understood all that he had to do, but he did not want to wear a blue shirt and black pants. Also, how did they expect him to stand all day?

Somehow he got through the first hour. But then he became bored.

They put him on drive through. The first time the headset beeped, he jumped. He also jumped the second time.

While taking peoples orders, he would stack the things on the counter. So, by the time his break came, he had cups staked on the computer, ketchup packets staked on top of dipping sauces, and bags staked on top of milk cartons. Eventually, a gust of wind came through the window and knocked everything down.

After his break, Near had a fat customer. (I know L had two, but trust me, it's not a rare occurrence.) When they were finished their large order, Near stated without emotion, 'You know, if you just ate your toys like I do, then you wouldn't be fat.'

After that, he went to the back to stalk up. He was back there for quite a while, so the manager went to go check on him.

What he found was Near, on the floor, with the kids toys all opened and scattered around him. He was playing with them and substituting the noises.

FIRED!


	3. McMello

**McMello**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, and if I owned McDonalds I would be 1000 pounds, which I am not.**

The interviewer was afraid. This would be her third interview today, and the other two didn't work out all that well.

Mello walked in, dressed in his best clothes. Surprisingly, they weren't leather. He actually looked... normal. Well, excluding the scar.

'So, to begin, will you be alright wearing the uniform?' The interviewer cringed; the last two did _not_ want to wear the uniform.

'Sure.'

'Ok, and you can't call the customers fat.'

'I would never do that.' Mello smiled. He would be better than Near in no time.

.oOo.

Mello listened to his instructions intently. He paid attention to every single detail. He memorized everything he could.

His trainer was really impressed. The last two had been... horrible.

When it came time to take orders, Mello was pleasant to the customers. He never once called them fat (even though most of them were). He wondered how Near could have been fired from such an easy job.

There was a break in the rush. A plain looking guy ordered a BigMac meal. When Mello was waiting for the grill people to finish with the burger, an old guy came to the till. Mello didn't notice him till he spoke.

'Can I have my order taken?'

Mello turned around with a big smile. 'Sure.'

'You have six people working, and I'm still standing here for ten minutes?' Mello knew it wasn't ten minutes, but still he didn't say anything.

'Sorry, I didn't see you.'

'Why did they hire you? I want a...' He never got to finish his sentence.

'What?! Why did they hire me?! They hired me because I'm a –beep-ing good employee! I was in the mob!' Then he pulled out his gun and aimed it at the old guys head. 'I'll teach you why they hired me!' He shot the gun, intentionally missing the guys head by a few inches.

FIRED! (And I don't mean the gun)


	4. McRaito

**McRaito**

**Disclaimer: D tai'e wte Odhto Nnno**

**Unscrambled, it's I don't own Death Note!**

Raito walked in for his interview. The interviewer looked at him and smiled.

'So, why should McDonalds hire you?'

Raito smiled his fangirl winning smile. 'Well, I am really good looking.'

'Something else?'

'I have great hair.'

'Something _not_ to do with your appearance?'

Raito leaned forward a little. 'I think you're cute.'

She giggles and said, 'Ok, you're hired.'

.oOo.

Raito was good at charming the customers. Even the guys fell for his amazing charm.

It was when he was chatting up on of the customers that a tour bus pulled up. He cursed when he saw that it was full, and they were all coming in for food. There were only three people working!

After a few minutes of bedlam, Raito cracked and pulled out his Death Note. 'So, I'll call your name when your food is ready. Can you write down your name so I know?'

So, everyone wrote down their names. Raito smiled. They were committing suicide!

When everyone fell down dead, the workers didn't know what happened. Raito would have gotten away clean... if he didn't start laughing like a maniac. 'Yes! They are all dead! Mwahaha! They die at the hand of GOD!!'

FIRED!


	5. McMatt

**McMatt**

**Disclaimer: I work at McDonalds, but I don't own it. Nor do I own Matt, or anything Death Note related (except Kat. For those of you who have read Because of a Prank and Multiplayer, you know who I'm talking about).**

The interviewer was tired. She needed to find at least one employee that would work out by the end of the week! Well, maybe this new person would be ok...

Matt walked in, so engrossed in his game that he almost walked into the door. He sat down in front of the interviewer, still not turning off his game.

'And what's your name?'

'Mhm.' Matt replied, not even aware that she had asked a question.

'Your name is Mhm? But it says here your name is Matt.' She tried to make a joke, but it was totally lost on him. The rest of the interview didn't go much better, but they were desperate, so she hired him anyway.

.oOo.

'I want a big Mac meal, please.' The fat lady said. It doesn't really have anything to do with the fact that she was fat, but there are a lot of fat people that go there.

Matt, of course, wasn't even paying attention. 'Why are you telling me? I don't care. Get it yourself.' He would have added fatso, but he hadn't actually looked at the woman, choosing instead to play his game.

But, he looked up at the next person that walked through the doors. Mello.

When the manager saw his ex-employee, he ran to hide.

Mello walked up to the counter, pushing the lady away. 'Hey, Matt, let's go have sex in the library.'

'I'm working... but ok!' So Matt took off his McDonalds hat and left with Mello. He got back, an hour later. He asked his manger if he was fired.

'It was just one time. It's fine.' He was slightly afraid that Mello would come back if he fired Matt, and besides, Matt hadn't accused anyone of being Kira, hadn't opened all the kids toys in the whole store, hadn't held anyone at gun point, and hadn't killed a whole bus load of people. They were really short staffed.

'Ok, then I'm going to go sit in the back and play my game.'

So he went to the back and played his game. He even lit a cigarette. The manager came back and had a casual conversation with him, not even mentioning the fact that Matt was playing a game, smoking, and totally ignoring him.

They eventually put him on drive through. The first time the headset beeped to tell him there was a car, he jumped and made the person in his game run into a pit of death. 'Dammit! This place sucks! I'm quitting!'

QUIT!


End file.
